While the entire
world around me is counting down the number of shopping days until Christmas,
I'm counting down the number of days until the start of a new personal trial,
surviving the holidays alone.
I've always known that the holidays are extremely difficult
for people who have suffered loss, separation, or divorce. There are some
people who haven't experienced any of these things and yet still the holidays
prove to be a battle between them and looming depression.....but now I think
I'm starting to understand why.
The holidays are the time of year that reinforce the
principles and ideals of family and togetherness, so it would stand to reason
that the holidays with almost 100 percent certainty will awaken feelings that
we have struggled all year to lull into a coma. (Or in my case 7 months as of
December 11)
You would think that with taking care of four kids, working
and going to school full time, plus all of the things I do with church that
wouldn't have enough time to think about these kinds of things.....but I have
come to appreciate just how long a split second can be, it can seem like an
eternity.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ― Khalil Gibran
It's in the string of
seconds that I can feel the beast that lives inside my heart stirring, anxious
to find the veil of my emotions, thin and worn, so it can escape. And so the
struggle ensues.
In the mean time I will go about as normal, wearing the mask
of daily living. I know that this war will not last forever, after all nothing
really does. So if you come across this, say a prayer, or just think of me and
send love, light and strength my way, in the hopes that this too shall pass ~
Posted by La'Tanya Williams-Brisbon at 9:41 AM No comments:
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