Days 23-26, Family Events....What The?

Can somebody tell me who invented the so called “family events”? Days 23 thru 25 went fairly well, no more than the regular post separation anxiety. But today my youngest son had to attend a scholarship ceremony. He didn't want to go, I didn't want to go, but my daughter reminded me that her brother would not go if he had to go by himself. So, I took off my, "protect myself at all cost hat", and got ready to go.

This was the first time that I had to be in the car with the "soon-to-be ex". The kids were riding in the back. I have to tell you the car felt like it was collapsing in on me! I'm so glad that the place we had to go was close to the house.

You know what made it so bad.....I just really don't know what to say to him, it's that simple. Mind you, I don't hate him, I don't even have any animosity towards him. He can tweak my nerves from time to time, but who doesn't. How do you go from talking about almost everything with a person to almost zip! Right now I feel most comfortable talking about the basics. The kids, the bills, things that are going on with the house.

There ceremony that we had to attend was long, long enough for me to develop a killer stress headache. I couldn't move fast enough after the ceremony was over. I guess the "soon-to-be ex" knew what was going through my mind because no sooner than I had collected my son and got outside, there was the "soon-to-be ex" standing outside talking on the phone, laughing and smiling with whoever he was talking with.

Finally in the car on the way home.....why does he ask my son does he want to out to dinner! I could hear my inner voice screaming, "Kill me! Kill me NOW!” My son is excited, what kid do you know that doesn't want to go out to dinner! But he is so sweet, he said, "Mommy, I only want to go if you want to go". What could I say? I said it's up to you sweetie. So off to dinner we went.

That was the longest meal of my life! I think I somewhat know what a person on death row must feel during their last meal. The food wanted to stick in my throat. I stared straight ahead most of the time focusing my attention on a television that was mounted on the wall in front of me. I'll admit, the "soon-to-be ex" did try to make small talk...I made very minimal exchange...I think my words were stuck behind my food.

Well....on the bright side, I also know how animals feel that are being set back into the wild.

One day, I'll be able to be around the "soon-to-be ex" and be my normal happy self, but that day was not today.

And this too shall pass

Posted by La'Tanya Williams-Brisbon at 12:03 AM